To my co-workers:

I speak to you in confidentiality: I have a bit of a weight problem that comes from an addictions to all things sweet.

And you’re all enablers.

Sure, I understand that it’s a season of celebration, and that because it’s winter we’re all wearing thicker (and looser) clothing, but the constant supply of fresh-baked goods and butter-infused sweets is too much—is it too much to ask for an apple?

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